Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
