I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
