That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
4 words: hood of his car
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
