Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
