I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
