Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
