i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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