Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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