you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
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