God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Where is the hickey?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
