i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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