i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize
