think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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