to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
