I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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