I am puke
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
