Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
