I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Randomize
