i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
