He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
