Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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