Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
