sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
