i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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