What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize
