alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
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