did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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