hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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