I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
