your thong is hanging out like whoa
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
We have started to decorate penises.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
