I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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