so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Randomize
