i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
