im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
