I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
