u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
