OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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