I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
