I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
