You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Drake has all the answers
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
