Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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