i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
