She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
