chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
