Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Randomize
