Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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