so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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