Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize