Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
