I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
