I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
