he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
