When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
