Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
