...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
