if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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