He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
