he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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