you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
He has the fingertips of a God
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