already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
